Okay so I know I can’t be the only girl that has had a wardrobe malfunction at the beach? Where either my bikini bra or pants (or both) fall down from a wave in the sea…right? I can brush it off because the majority of the time – or at least I like to believe, no one has seen anything. After all it’s just a force of nature lol I didn’t know that the next wave coming would be strong enough to rip off my bikini. After all, we all have the same parts and if someone has seen any ‘uncovered’ parts of me from this incident well, lucky them.
So why is it a massive shocker when a celebrity is caught? First, THEY’RE JUST MAMMARY GLANDS! Their only purpose is to produce milk for babies. You don’t see cows in the field (or any other animal for that matter) having a look at each others udders and saying how sexually attractive they are! Humans are literally the only species that place sexual connotations to mammary glands.
Secondly, NIPPLES? Nipples though. Hello? They serve the purpose of feeding babies. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY SEXUALIZED? (I had to stop and laugh for a second at this) Being female and (obviously) having them, I don’t understand why they are sexualized in the 21st Century. God forbid someone should see one and have uncontrollable feelings towards it in public. “OH NO! A NIPPLE! QUICK HIDE IT! Before a man sees, and can’t control himself” LOL. I’m sure that a man can control himself. An outfit after all is no invitation or a suggestion that girls are “asking for it.” Get a grip lol…IT’S LITERALLY A BUMP on what literally is A FLAP OF SKIN. (I’m laughing way too much at this. Send help. Plz xox)
Thirdly, DON’T GET ME STARTED ON BRA’S! Patriarchy Holders. Boob Jail. Patriarchy Padding. Chest Chokers. Jumper Stretcher Stranglers. Can Clamps. Booby Traps. Mammary Muzzles. Tata Torture Device. Rocket Launcher Repressers. You name it. The invention of bras has had something to do with the sexualization of mammary glands. For this I blame patriarchy and hegemony. Whether it’s because they’re worn so much and therefore conceal the idea of what’s really underneath (a nipple – god forbid), or simply something about their aesthetic attaches the connotations of sex, bras are sexualized and something I believe keeps women in their place. #freethenipple. Maybe if they were manufactured better to give women more support, comfort, and security (because yes the girls do sometimes slip out) then women would be happier to wear them and not feel like its a public duty to wear one?
Fourthly, THE DAILY MAIL. Okay, so getting back to my previous point about celebrity wardrobe malfunctions at the beach. Why does The Daily Mail think that this is news? I mean, apart from the obvious reasons because hello it’s the flippin Daily Mail. But, it’s not the first thing I think of in the morning or want to see in the news. I don’t think “I wonder if there are any celeb nip slips in the news today?” I think, “has May has stepped down from PM yet?” Or, “Is the Queen’s health getting worse?” You feel me? So why does the editor of The Daily Mail think it’s okay to act like a KEY STAGE 4 child and publicize women for this unfortunate malfunction. It’s immature and not professional. I don’t read The Daily Mail by the way. It popped up on the snapchat news feature and pissed me off.
“Flashing more than her cash” is something I’d expect a middle aged bigot to say in the pub. The line underneath saying she has “trouble controlling her barely there bikini.” Well, to be honest, if she didn’t have photographers taking pictures of her trying to “control it” she would have handled her situation better? Also maybe as I mentioned before if her bikini were manufactured better to give more support, comfort, and security this wouldn’t have happened.
Also, WHY THE FU*CK WERE PEOPLE TAKING PICTURES OF THIS? Imagine this were your sister, wife, girlfriend, daughter, cousin or friend? Pretty sure anyone would get vexed over this and as a result throw the other persons camera in to the sea, right?
Disgusting. Just look at how the rest of the article is worded and tell me that it’s not repulsive. The only positive thing I take from this article is how well Steph managed to put on a happy face and not give the photographers the pleasure of annoying her.
Thanks for reading,